When I awoke, I could not see.
hello?
it is difficult to find the light in the darkness
is anyone there?
The white room is a void of decoration and personality—a place to lose your mind at the risk of finding yourself.
why is it so dark in here?
something touched me!
who’s there?
i can hear you breathing!
shhhhhhhhhhh
make yourself known!
i /\m: here
“Listen to the sound of my voice.”
I requested a guide and she appeared.
impending doom!
mesmerized; manipulated
why would someone so beautiful harm us?
“Find a comfortable position for the body and close the eyes.
When thoughts occur, simply refocus on my voice.”
I am accustomed to collective prayer. Meditation is quieter—preferable—and reassuring, though I still entertain doubts. We hold silence together, and embark on a solo journey within.
“Imagine a white light pouring into the head,
filling the body from the crown down to the tips of the toes,
flooding the torso and limbs with electricity.”
Muscles spasm from the current until the breath evens, deepening as the white light relaxes the tension. I am held as a baby, secure in myself without the persistence of external fears.
“Now, imagine a room.
Notice the decor, the scents, the colors present.”
The instructions created response without forethought. Automation activated; no effort required. The body is a light bulb turned ON. I move from breath to touch to breath to sound to breath to sight to breath to smell to breath to taste to breath. I can feel understanding; the brain is receptive. Words begin to appear in the mind’s eye. I cannot decipher the messages. Maintaining the posture of non-judgment is easy.
“I want you to sit on the chair at the table in the room.
What kind of chair is it? What kind of table?”
there is no chair
there is no table
there is nothing!
“To your right, a door opens.”
there is no door!
this is madness.
she doesn’t know what she is talking about.
“Through the door, walks someone familiar.”
who is SHE?!
it’s like i know her and yet…
can we trust her?
I prepare to meet a stranger—a self I am not now, and one I know intimately. I can only find her if I step into the darkness, behind my eyelids. I take a sharp breath. The exhalation hugs the curves of the body, and every crease and wrinkle is filled with the plumpness of youth. It is a time to learn—
i /\m: safe
—and I grow eager for the lessons. The stranger floats as a ghost toward me, and a metal table appears. Two clear plastic chairs materialize. She moves to sit and I follow suit, facing her face which is my face.
we will be curious.