Rewriting Family in Embroidered Vintage Fashion
I was introduced to Leslie Benigni at the 2024 VegFest, drawn into her booth by her embroidered artistry and quirky vintage fashion. We chatted briefly and I took a commission slip promising to reach out.
Seven months later, we met for coffee to discuss a collaboration.
Childhood, Grandmacore & Mastering Craft
Benigni has been a working artist since she was 13-years old. She started selling jewelry on Etsy and at local markets and craft fairs, wherever her parents would drive her. She expanded to vintage reselling and expressing herself through fashion led to embroidery.
One of the limiting factors of Benigni’s childhood is the closet control. What she wore was picked out for her, and her stylistic choices were judged harshly because outfits needed to match. She didn’t grow up rich, so her style was eclectic. “You get creative which develops resourcefulness and adaptability,” Benigni posits. In true artist rebellion, she believed she had the materials she needed, and the sewing skills, to transform her wardrobe into a closet of trends, “as seen in top of line catalogs like JCPenney.”
It was Benigni’s grandma who taught her how to embroider and sew in her childhood. I asked if she embroidered doilies and we shared a laugh. “It's funny you say that because the first thing she didn't want me to try on was her good handkerchiefs and linens. She gave me old washcloths and dishrags.”
Benigni’s desire for mastery was born. “Craft is an interesting word; it has specific nuance and historical importance. I am honing my craft is different than when you say I craft–it sounds stereotypical of a crafter, someone with a hobby. I’m serious about mastering a craft.”
She was 17-years old when Tumblr was at its peak. Benigni describes a pastel trendsetting wave of goth and prom, futuristic punk, emerging; Arctic Monkeys meets the Pinterest-popular rose-embroidered shorts. Shorts she decided to make herself.
Her shorts were perceived as “kind of grandma-ish”, their threaded essence reminded many of their moms, aunts and grandmas. Benigni wasn’t deterred, she loved the connection and leaned into Grandmacore. “It made me feel closer to my grandma who was the shining light in my childhood. [She] raised me for a good chunk of my life, and [she was] who I always went to for inspiration during difficult family times.”
The mention of difficult times revealed Benigni and I are both presently estranged from our families. She was pursuing a Creative Writing degree when she began the process of disconnection. “It was beautiful; a transformatory period. Up to that point, my writing was conventional and formulaic. My brain wanted to subvert all of it.”
Classically trained in both poetry and fiction, she began experimenting with form, replicating her thoughts and memories in a stream of consciousness. She penned a hybrid story about the disintegration of a relationship between two people. One person's memory and perception of the relationship was imposed upon by the other, controlling the dynamic.
“I feel like you just described my brother,” I related to Benigni.
front of my dad’s jean jacket, reclaimed with my symbolism in Benigni’s style
Rewriting Family Begins with Repair
Estrangement has allowed both of us to rewrite our lived experiences and save ourselves. The true meaning of family for us can be a nightmare of personal distortion. The grief and relief in the separation is a wave. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Benigni’s grandmother fell down the stairs and broke a leg, forcing her to live with Benigni’s aunt and uncle, who Benigni was not speaking to. “I still wanted to communicate with [my grandmother]. She deserved to hear I love her and think about her often. We would send each other letters ... [I told her] I don't expect you to understand why I've chosen this path. It’s not a reflection of how you raised me or how I feel about you. I just can't exist within this dynamic anymore. She was very understanding, which was helpful, because she was aware [of what happened].”
It is an act of healing, and can be a practice in forgiveness, to be met with understanding when you have had adverse childhood experiences. Those who can hold the space are angels. Benigni’s grandmother passed June 2022.
Those who cannot imagine being estranged, do not accept I can miss my family and be unmoved to pursue a relationship with them. Giving in to the shame for being a “bad daughter” is depressing. Benigni and I agree you can’t do anything differently until you try.
back of my dad’s jean jacket, reclaimed with my symbolism in Benigni’s style
The Collaborative Effect of Artistry
A favorite piece of clothing I have worn since high school, is a 1970s The Flick Button Up Denim Jacket; it was my dad’s when he was a teenager in Texas. I receive compliments when I wear it from people of all ages; it’s been stylistically referred to as cyber punk. Between sips of coffee and conversation, Benigni would hold up my dad’s jacket to inspect and admire it. “I'm intrigued by this shape and the brand.”
The jacket has a sewn vented back, pleats and a tail. It’s oversized and worn; the denim is smooth. Being estranged from my dad, the jacket and I have developed an equal strangeness; it becomes more tattered with every wear as the elbow holes and ripped seams catch on door handles and chairs. It distresses me for it to become distressed and I act as if I couldn't. care. less.
Benigni directs my thoughts to the nine symbols that appear in Memoirtistry and how to express them. As we collaborate, we decide to treat the jacket as my skin and cover it with embroidered “tattoos”.
The Ghosts, my three inner children aged 8, 12 & 20
The Eyes of The Ghosts, hidden inside The Pussy (right sleeve)
The Eyes of The Ghosts, hidden inside The Pussy (right sleeve)
The Eyes of The Ghosts, hidden inside The Pussy (with teeth, because I bite). The Alien (green) and The Demon (red) wait for them to emerge.
So what’s next for Leslie Benigni?
“It's kind of morbid to say, but when I try to think ahead to the future ... I didn't see myself getting this far. It's inconceivable; I'm naively very open to whatever happens.”
Benigni sold her wares in New York City at the Grand Bazaar in March, which she feels is a jumping off point for bigger things. But her interests span mediums, from avant garde fashion to sculpture and visual art. She can see herself curating gallery experiences with clothing and textiles, creatively directing, and also partnering with brands she loves, like Bode.
Becoming Our Own Parents & Finding Community
“Meeting another person who has defected ... it’s a harder way. Even though I am not conscious of it as I make things, family is interwoven in all I do. So the goal is to make my younger self proud.”
Without a safety net of family, Benigni and I agree we’ve worked hard to cultivate deeper relationships so we can accept support when it is offered. “Community is a word I've been relying on,” she tells me, “I think there needs to be a better sense of community care, especially for kids; it takes a village. It’s important to grow up with a network of people beyond family.”
It takes a village the estranged are skilled in building; forced resilience will do that. Wearing a Benigni gives me an opportunity to make peace in estrangement. I’m clothed in understanding and I’m not only fashionable, I’m styled in art therapy by a friend in my community. My inner children are delighted.
