love’s last words

an awaiting, solemn breath forms between us. two sets of closed eyes and open gates. defeat as our mouths hang inches apart. the striking humidity of love we ignore for its soft indignity.

you are my crystal, our breaths are one ocean, we are drowning in this reflection. one memory drenches me, the other slices through skin god forgot to make tangible. stasis here will immortalize itself, not through a much awaited kiss but the yearning that kills in your absence. i leave the mirror in the dark both ways; together we forget judgement.

here we are parallel, heads cocked to jigsaw our lips. i know why you refuse to kiss me now that your brown eyes talon-latch onto my vessel.

am i love to you, i wonder? with constellations of acne across my dad’s cheeks, and figure curved slim, of the most illusory femininity? i note how summarized beauty comes without a smile’s mention, unless it’s your love speaking. i think if i reminded you of your beauty another time you’d react the same. would you like to find out? this time don’t press your eyes to the floor and wait for it all to end with a mouth that can’t help but curve up and out.

you leave traces of your loving soul on me in fingerprints, gazes, that reassuring voice, and my impatient heart(ache).

“pretend you’re with them,” i think to myself, though my hands can’t replace yours.